Love & Marriage

Today, Jason had a chance to talk to a friend about some of the marriage problems he & his wife are going through right now. It led us into an awesome discussion about how we've dealt with situations that were less-than-perfect in our own marriage. Every marriage has its ups & downs, and ours is no exception. Now, nothing ever happened to us that was completely earth-shatteringly devastating, but it hasn't always been perfect, either.

First thing I've gotta tell you is: We were not Christians when we got married. We didn't go to church. We weren't praying people. We didn't have any friends who were Jesus followers. Nada. Jason had a church background, but I really didn't so much. So, God just was not the center of our marriage until about 7 years ago. Right now I think we both would say our faith is why our marriage is so strong. We have learned to put our relationship with each other first before any other human relationship. And we learned this principle in church. The Bible has a fully laid-out plan for your life & mine and it tells us the priorities of our relationships. It goes God first, spouse 2nd, kids 3rd, everything else after that. The Bible also tells us we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So, God is our glue. He holds us together.

Second thing is this: We have a rule about not giving up on each other. Remember how I told you we haven't always been Christians? Yep. Well, the first 5 or 6 years of our marriage we had more than a few arguments. These fights were always about stupid stuff. Things everyone seems to argue about. Kids, money, chores... junk that doesn't really matter. (I personally think most of those arguments happened in the early years of our marriage because we weren't submitting to one another & both of us cared too much about ourselves to put the other one first.) But here's the deal: We had this rule about not ever bringing up the "D" word (y'know... divorce). Even speaking that word to one another was never allowed. It's just not OK to give up on the person that you're supposed to love the most. I think every marriage should have this rule.

Third: I had an amazing example to follow. My parents were married for 36 years until my dad passed away. I cannot remember ever once seeing my folks fight with one another. They loved each other so unconditionally it is crazy. I was a very rebellious teenager, and I remember one time making a not-so-nice comment to my mom. I thought my dad was gonna go through the roof! Nobody disrespected his wife. Nobody. He adored her, and the whole world knew it. Likewise, mom always told me she didn't keep secrets from dad. See, when I screwed up (which I did a lot), I always told mom first. She wasn't as scary to admit stuff to as dad was. I was always afraid of disappointing him. But I still remember her telling me that anything I ever told her she would tell him. He was her most important human relationship, that much was clear. Growing up in a household with such a strong marriage as an example taught me so much about how to love my husband. And I just have to say, your kids are learning how to love their future spouse by watching you just like I learned by watching my folks. Will your kids have great marriages because of the way they see you treat & love your husband or wife? I hope my kids do!

Lastly, never take your spouse for granted. I thank God every day for bringing Jason into my life. I can't imagine life without him!! If you're married, take some time every day to acknowledge how blessed you are to have someone to walk through life with. A blessing is a gift from God -- treat that person as such.

Just felt like I needed to write this stuff down. Hopefully it'll encourage someone to love the best way they can!

Thoughts about Food & Self-Control

So, I've been making some semblance of progress on this food battle I always seem to be fighting. I've been losing weight -- YAY!!

I think it's because I'm actually paying attention to my body. Before I eat, I ask myself if I'm actually hungry or if I'm eating for another reason. Sounds simple, I know, but when you eat out of boredom or as a reaction to an emotion, you just don't think about the fact that you might not really be hungry because you are only thinking about the immediate gratification the food is going to provide. Plus, you aren't really relying on God to provide the food when you will feel hungry. You are just taking matters into your own hands & giving in to your physical desires. Not to be crass, but it's basically like gratifying yourself sexually instead of waiting for God to provide a spouse for you to get busy with.

I know it seems like it's not really a big deal to eat whenever you feel like it. I mean, you are the one who's going to have to deal with the "weight" of that issue. I mean, if you've got an extra 20 lbs. because of your late-night ice cream habit whose business is it anyway? But, it's so much more than that. It's about the fact that in that moment of eating "just because", I completely lack self-control.

Galatians 5:22 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..."

And it goes on to say that I, as a Christ-follower, am to "keep in step with the Spirit".

So, in an effort to keep in step with the Spirit & to live out the part of my faith that includes the fruit of self-control, I am making stronger commitments than I have in a while when it comes to the food thing. I have been cutting down my portions (really, who even NEEDS restaurant-sized portions?), curbing the late-night eating, and I've recommitted myself to the spiritual discipline of fasting once a week. But I think the key is that in being self-controlled I feel closer to God than I have in a long time. And that's a bigger reward than anything the scale could ever tell me.

Here's to keeping in step with the Spirit! Pray for me!