Love & Marriage

Today, Jason had a chance to talk to a friend about some of the marriage problems he & his wife are going through right now. It led us into an awesome discussion about how we've dealt with situations that were less-than-perfect in our own marriage. Every marriage has its ups & downs, and ours is no exception. Now, nothing ever happened to us that was completely earth-shatteringly devastating, but it hasn't always been perfect, either.

First thing I've gotta tell you is: We were not Christians when we got married. We didn't go to church. We weren't praying people. We didn't have any friends who were Jesus followers. Nada. Jason had a church background, but I really didn't so much. So, God just was not the center of our marriage until about 7 years ago. Right now I think we both would say our faith is why our marriage is so strong. We have learned to put our relationship with each other first before any other human relationship. And we learned this principle in church. The Bible has a fully laid-out plan for your life & mine and it tells us the priorities of our relationships. It goes God first, spouse 2nd, kids 3rd, everything else after that. The Bible also tells us we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So, God is our glue. He holds us together.

Second thing is this: We have a rule about not giving up on each other. Remember how I told you we haven't always been Christians? Yep. Well, the first 5 or 6 years of our marriage we had more than a few arguments. These fights were always about stupid stuff. Things everyone seems to argue about. Kids, money, chores... junk that doesn't really matter. (I personally think most of those arguments happened in the early years of our marriage because we weren't submitting to one another & both of us cared too much about ourselves to put the other one first.) But here's the deal: We had this rule about not ever bringing up the "D" word (y'know... divorce). Even speaking that word to one another was never allowed. It's just not OK to give up on the person that you're supposed to love the most. I think every marriage should have this rule.

Third: I had an amazing example to follow. My parents were married for 36 years until my dad passed away. I cannot remember ever once seeing my folks fight with one another. They loved each other so unconditionally it is crazy. I was a very rebellious teenager, and I remember one time making a not-so-nice comment to my mom. I thought my dad was gonna go through the roof! Nobody disrespected his wife. Nobody. He adored her, and the whole world knew it. Likewise, mom always told me she didn't keep secrets from dad. See, when I screwed up (which I did a lot), I always told mom first. She wasn't as scary to admit stuff to as dad was. I was always afraid of disappointing him. But I still remember her telling me that anything I ever told her she would tell him. He was her most important human relationship, that much was clear. Growing up in a household with such a strong marriage as an example taught me so much about how to love my husband. And I just have to say, your kids are learning how to love their future spouse by watching you just like I learned by watching my folks. Will your kids have great marriages because of the way they see you treat & love your husband or wife? I hope my kids do!

Lastly, never take your spouse for granted. I thank God every day for bringing Jason into my life. I can't imagine life without him!! If you're married, take some time every day to acknowledge how blessed you are to have someone to walk through life with. A blessing is a gift from God -- treat that person as such.

Just felt like I needed to write this stuff down. Hopefully it'll encourage someone to love the best way they can!

Thoughts about Food & Self-Control

So, I've been making some semblance of progress on this food battle I always seem to be fighting. I've been losing weight -- YAY!!

I think it's because I'm actually paying attention to my body. Before I eat, I ask myself if I'm actually hungry or if I'm eating for another reason. Sounds simple, I know, but when you eat out of boredom or as a reaction to an emotion, you just don't think about the fact that you might not really be hungry because you are only thinking about the immediate gratification the food is going to provide. Plus, you aren't really relying on God to provide the food when you will feel hungry. You are just taking matters into your own hands & giving in to your physical desires. Not to be crass, but it's basically like gratifying yourself sexually instead of waiting for God to provide a spouse for you to get busy with.

I know it seems like it's not really a big deal to eat whenever you feel like it. I mean, you are the one who's going to have to deal with the "weight" of that issue. I mean, if you've got an extra 20 lbs. because of your late-night ice cream habit whose business is it anyway? But, it's so much more than that. It's about the fact that in that moment of eating "just because", I completely lack self-control.

Galatians 5:22 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..."

And it goes on to say that I, as a Christ-follower, am to "keep in step with the Spirit".

So, in an effort to keep in step with the Spirit & to live out the part of my faith that includes the fruit of self-control, I am making stronger commitments than I have in a while when it comes to the food thing. I have been cutting down my portions (really, who even NEEDS restaurant-sized portions?), curbing the late-night eating, and I've recommitted myself to the spiritual discipline of fasting once a week. But I think the key is that in being self-controlled I feel closer to God than I have in a long time. And that's a bigger reward than anything the scale could ever tell me.

Here's to keeping in step with the Spirit! Pray for me!

This blog is a little peek into my "quiet time" for the past week. Hopefully it'll help someone as it has helped me.

"...You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy." -Micah 7:18 (NIV)

Read that again. God delights to show mercy. Do you?
I know I don't always jump at the chance to be merciful. In fact, I usually think to myself something along the lines of, "Wow, that person sure is lucky that I'm showing them a little mercy right now. If I wanted to, I could totally rip them a new one." Or, I will "forgive" someone, but never truly let the grudge go.

For example, here's what happened to me yesterday:
Scenario #1:
I went to Office Max. I didn't bother with a cart, just thought I'd make a quick trip in. So, I'm standing at the checkout, juggling an armload of stuff & waiting for the person in front of me. All of a sudden, 'Mr. Rude' comes out of nowhere and totally cuts me off in line! Did I say anything? Nope. I'm merciful, right? Evidently, this "gentlemen" has a busier schedule than me, so I let it go.

Scenario #2:
I follow up my Office Max trip with a stop at the dreaded post office. (I mean, have you ever had to stand in line at the post office? Bleccchhh.) I'm walking in, and this lady comes swooping in from the other direction and scoots her way in front of me without giving me a 2nd glance. Ugh! Twice in one day I get cut off in standing in line within 30 minutes of each other? Grrrrr... Do I say anything to said lady? No. See reason above.

Scenario #3:
I was cut off in traffic by a big freakin' truck while I'm driving in my little Ford Escort 4-cylinder glorified Go-Kart (on a gravel road in a construction zone with my kids in the car, to add a few more things to be pissed about and not-so-merciful).

Am I ever like God, who actually finds it a delight to show mercy? I mean, when you are showing mercy, doesn't that mean someone has wronged you somehow? How can we delight in that? We've all heard the saying "forgive, but not forget", but what if being merciful means you have to completely wipe the "wrongs" from your memory? Maybe you can't forgive until you forget.

Psalm 103:12 says this is how God shows mercy to us: "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

In other words, He forgets our transgressions! How does He do it? I choose to think it's through a LOVE we cannot comprehend. See, Jesus LOVES us MORE than we can fathom, and He proved it by dying for us.

"It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some very imperfect people..."
-Hebrews 10:14 (The Message)

God knows we are imperfect. He knows we will fail time & time again, and we will do things without thinking about them, or caring how our actions affect other people. He knows that some days I'm the rude lady at the post office. And He shows me mercy even when I am unmerciful toward others. The next time you run across another imperfect person who needs your forgiveness, maybe you should try doing what God does... and just fuhgeddabouddit.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that life is short. Probably because I just heard this awesome talk about it during the first week of The Crossing's MIST series. I know I need to get back on track with eating healthy and exercising. It's been too long. Too many excuses. Too many "I'll start tomorrow's". There are things I want to accomplish and, if I'm honest about it, these things are not going to be as easy to do if I remain the way I am right now.

This whole series is based off of this scripture:
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
-James 4:13-17

OUCH! Did you read what that just said? Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. We do not know if we have tomorrow. I don't know the future and neither do you. I want to live my life to the FULLEST while I'm here. That means no more of this waiting-around-being-lazy-waiting-for-my-problem-to-take-care-of-itself stuff. I KNOW the good I ought to do. I'm just not doing it. Until now. I can start right this minute. So can you! Do you know something you ought to be doing that you aren't doing? Maybe you should make a budget. Call someone up and apologize. Forgive someone you're holding a grudge against. Brush your teeth. I don't know what your "thing" is, but I know we've all got a "thing". You aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Don't waste your life, for you are a mist.

Y'know how you have things you can say only to your spouse? How you will word things when it's just the two of you talking? If you and your spouse are in a room with other people, you will probably adjust some of the things you say. In private, it's no holds barred. You're just REAL.

It's the same with prayer. Praying at Small Group or for someone else aloud isn't BAD, but our Father also wants us to pray in secret -- no holds barred -- just Him & you, being REAL.

I was just reminded of that thought. It's not original or anything -- Jason heard it somewhere. Even so, I've looked at prayer differently ever since I heard it.

Be REAL with God today. Tell Him what you're thinking and feeling. Ask Him for the things you need. Thank Him for what He's already given you. Don't hold back. Don't make your words all churchy and perfect. Just be yourself. And know that He loves you just the way He made you.

Yahoo! It's finally Easter weekend! We've been uber-busy trying to get everything ready at The Crossing for people to have their minds blown with the awesomeness of God this weekend. Let me just explain something for those of you who've never been to a church that would give away cars (yes, 3 of them) just to get people in the door. Why do we care? Why do we care about getting so many people to show up to a church service? People = LIVES! Do you know anyone who needs a change in their life? They party too much, are dealing with an addiction that is tearing them apart, are going through a horrible divorce, are struggling with losing a loved one? Maybe that person is you. See, I don't know what you think about God. I believe He's real and doesn't care about your past junk. He knows how screwed up & broken we all are & He just wants us to do life with Him.

Over the past 5 years, I have watched God change HUNDREDS of lives at The Crossing. Literally, HUNDREDS! Including my life. I know people don't always understand the way we go about reaching people. I know lots of people have an idea in their head about how church is "supposed to be". Like, we're not "supposed to" play loud rock music, like Aerosmith. Or, we're not "supposed to" wear ripped jeans to church. Or we're not "supposed to" have FUN at church. We're "supposed to" be solemn and serious and bored to death at church, right? I think it's funny how for over 2,000 years people have had this idea of how church is "supposed to be". The Apostle Paul was constantly trying to explain to people that God doesn't care about rules or rituals. People haven't changed. Not in 2,000 years! GOD STILL DOESN'T CARE ABOUT RULES & RITUALS. Isn't that cool?

I read this passage this morning:
Does it sound like we're patting ourselves on the back, insisting on our credentials, asserting our authority? Well, we're not. Neither do we need letters of endorsement, either to you or from you. You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it -- not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives -- and we publish it. (I think of all the people who've been reached in an unconventional, non-churchy way...)

We couldn't be more sure of ourselves in this -- that you, written by Christ himself for God, are our letter of recommendation. We wouldn't think of writing this kind of letter about ourselves. Only God can write such a letter. His letter authorizes us to help carry out this new plan of action. The plan wasn't written out with ink on paper, with pages and pages of legal footnotes, killing your spirit. It's written with Spirit on spirit, his life on our lives!
-2 Cor 3:1-6 (The Message)

So I will stay on The Crossing's mission to move seekers one step closer to a real relationship with Jesus and to thrill believers with spiritual truths of an awe-inspiring God. Know why? 'Cause God is at work at The Crossing, people. God is changing lives there. And it might not be the way it's "supposed to be". And that's OK.

So, I'm reading this awesome new book called "The Me I Want To Be" by John Ortberg. I know, the title sounds like something Stuart Smalley would say (see old Al Franken clips from SNL if you don't know what I mean...). But the book is really good so far! He's talking about how God has created each of us for a specific purpose, and if we lean into that, we will have peace & contentment. I don't know about you, but I really struggle with trying to be what people think I should be. Or I fight to become like other people are. But God created me to be Tracy. Even with my all of my many flaws, He loves me & made me this way. Don't get me wrong -- I don't think I should become lazy & forget about trying to improve myself. I want to lose weight, be more generous, more graceful, less angry, and I think God wants all of those things for me, too. I think what He's trying to tell me lately is that I can be confident in His perfect love for me. And, ultimately, the "me I want to be" is a me that is fully aware of how unconditionally loved I am by my Creator.

A blog for the new year!

OK, so it has come to my attention that, lo & behold, people are actually reading this thing. And I haven't posted anything in over a year! It's a new year now. Heck, it's a new DECADE! So, in honor of 2010, here's a blog post for ya'll!

Here's some stuff I thought would be happening by the 21st century (in no particular order):

1) Flying cars. What the? Why don't we have these yet? Seriously!! Even the 2nd Back to the Future movie had hover-cars. (And those Pizza Hut pizzas that you nuke in like 4 seconds). I think someone needs to make this happen. Like Bill Gates or Google or somebody.

2) Robots. The Jetsons had one. She cooked. She cleaned. She fed Rastro (er, I mean, Astro). I want one. iPhone, no. Robots, yes!

3) Houses in the sky. Speaking of the Jetsons... Need I say more? OK, really though, I wouldn't really care to live in a house in the sky. Except for the not-mowing-the-lawn part. That would be cool.

However, God has blessed me with an amazing family, a fantastic group of friends and an incredible opportunity to change the world one person at a time through my job, and that shall be enough for me.

Happy New Year everyone!!